It is unbelievable, but my wife and I just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. Looking back over these years, I have realized that marriage has taught me far more than I could have ever imagined. It has taught me how to handle challenges and how to celebrate each milestone. Here are 10 valuable lessons that I have learned over a decade together.
1. Communication is Key
I used to think that we could manage with minimal communication, just winging it with the "we'll just figure it out" approach. But as time passed, I realized that communication isn't just about sharing thoughts but also about listening actively, being open, and understanding each other's needs. Being able to talk through tough situations, even when emotions are high, has helped us grow stronger as a couple.
2. We Are Not Going to Agree on Everything
Marriage is not about being always in synch; it's about how we navigate our disagreements respectfully. I thought early on that a healthy couple never argued until it dawned on me that disagreements have to happen, and it has nothing to do with "winning" arguments but to listen, compromise, and find a resolution for both of us.
3. Growth Happens Together
We both have changed a lot over the years, and that's okay. At first, I thought marriage would mean we would stay the same forever. But over time, I've realized that personal growth, both individually and as a couple, is inevitable. What's important is growing together—supporting each other's changes and embracing those transformations as opportunities to strengthen our bond.
4. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
In the beginning, I used to focus on little things that annoyed me, such as leaving dirty laundry on the floor or forgetting to pick up groceries. Over time, I have learned that life is too short to focus on the small, insignificant details. Instead, I have learned to focus on the big picture: the love and respect we share. It is the little quirks that make us unique, and I have learned to embrace them rather than let them become sources of frustration.
5. It’s the Little Things That Matter Most
While grand gestures are lovely, it’s the small, everyday actions that have the biggest impact. A simple "How was your day?" or a spontaneous hug can mean more than an extravagant gift. Over the years, I’ve come to understand that simple acts of love, care, and attention make all the difference in keeping our relationship strong.
6. We Are a Team
Marriage is a partnership. And when things get tough and we feel like throwing in the towel, reminding ourselves that we are in this together has been the game-changer. Whether it's managing finances, taking care of the house, or dealing with family issues, working as a team has made us stronger. There is a deep comfort in knowing that we have each other's backs no matter what.
7. Patience Really is a Virtue
Patience is a lesson I continue to learn. It's easy to want things to happen right away—whether it's personal goals, career moves, or life decisions—but I've learned that patience is key to a lasting relationship. Giving each other space to grow, learn, and evolve at our own pace has made our relationship more solid than I ever imagined.
8. The Importance of Self-Care
Just as easy as getting swept up in the whirlwind of family, work, and all responsibilities, I have learned that taking care of myself through body, mind, and spirit creates a direct impact on the overall healthiness of the marriage. The more I fill up in my own life, the better I can be for my husband. Self-care isn't selfish; it's necessary for a healthy relationship.
9. Love Is a Choice, Not Just a Feeling
There are days when love feels effortless and other days when it takes work. I’ve realized that love isn’t just about the butterflies or the romantic moments; it’s a daily decision to show up for one another, even when times are tough. It’s a conscious choice to remain committed and to care, even on days when it feels hard.
10. Never Stop Having Fun Together
Laughter, merriment, and playfulness are what keeps the fire burning in a marriage. For those with full-time jobs, children, or other time commitments, it's crucial to find time for one another and have fun together. This can be as simple as a spontaneous weekend trip or binge-watching our favorite TV show. These moments of humor remind us why we loved them enough to choose each other.
Conclusion
Looking back on these ten years, I feel grateful for the lessons we've learned, the challenges we've overcome, and the memories we've made. Marriage is a journey, and while it hasn't always been easy, it has been worth every step. I'm excited for what the next ten years will bring, and I know that with these lessons in mind, we'll continue to grow, learn, and love each other even more deeply.
How do you find this?
Let me know your thoughts.
Thanks for reading.
XOXO
ZARRAH
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